Goat Thy Name Is Bad Timing

This is Jacqui. Jacqui is my mother-in-law. There is a decent chance that I may hate her by the end of the week.

You see, Harmony's due date came and went yesterday, to no avail. No goo, no vanishing of the ligaments, no pawing at the ground, no baby talking; in other words, no babies. :( Today I had to work in Summerville, about an hour away, doing massage at a chiropractor's office. I was so worried that I would be gone all day and miss the birth, so I sweet talked my mother-in-law, the aforementioned Jacqui, into coming up to goat-sit just in case the grand event were to transpire in my absence. She even drove up last night for a one-on-one crash course in goat labor. By the end of the night her head was swimming with visions of little white hooves emerging, umbilical cords in iodine, copious amounts of colorful goo everywhere, and best of all, her hand buried in the business end of a goat. I think I managed to pretty well freak her out, basically. But she's a trooper and still game for the assignment. Luckily, I only had a few massages in the morning today so I was able to get home myself to keep an eye on Harmony by noon, so Jacqui was spared. For now. I'm hoping the offer still stands for tomorrow when I have to again work in Summerville. *This is me batting my eyes at you compellingly, Jacqui!* Its an acknowledged fact by all parties, though, that if Jacqui gets to witness the first birth on my farm I will hate her a little bit.

When I got home today, Harmony was still looking as perky as ever, with nothing to show for the passing of her due date but a little swelling in her vulva. As the afternoon progressed, and I was out there taking a peek at her bottom about every hour, I noticed that her little udder is not quite as little as it used to be! It's downright bulging out from between her back legs now, which I think is a good sign. For a first freshener (a goat pregnant for the very first time) she's got quite an udder on her, I think anyway.

This is a picture of me checking her ligaments. Goats have a ligament on either side of their spine right above their tails, and when they "disappear" that indicates that they have softened sufficiently to allow the kid to pass through the birth canal, therefore birth is impending. I've been practicing feeling everybody's ligaments for months now, so I'm fairly confident when I say that Harmony's are definitely still there, although slightly softer than they used to be.

So I've been out there all afternoon looking for all these signs in Harmony, then I looked over at Tierra. I realized that everything I've been looking for in Harmony, Tierra has already done. Her udder is as tight as a tick, I swear she couldn't get another ounce of milk in there if she had to. Her ligaments have been almost non-existent for weeks. I never did even find them today. She has huge shallow depressions on either side of her spine just above her tail, another sign. No goo or anything, though. I swear, I'm not going to be able to watch for any of the classic signs with her, because she's already done them all. I was able to feel the babies kicking this afternoon, though, so that means they're probably not in position and serious about coming out yet. She is due Tuesday, 6 days from now. I don't know how she's going to accommodate her babies growing in there even another day. It's hard to express with pictures just how large her stomach really is. It's hard to show her pendulous walk as she tries to navigate with this huge thing hanging from her middle. These pictures were taken from some different angles this afternoon to try to give an idea. Look at the size of her chest compared to her belly. Even with a beautifully attached udder, her milk-filled teats are mere inches from the ground. Every time I look at her I say, "Poor Tierra." Even people who have never seen goats before come here and say, "Wow! Look at that goat's belly!"

When I was complaining to Ayden this evening over dinner that Harmony still hasn't had her babies, he told me very matter-of-factly, "Because they're not done cooking, Mommy." Oh. My bad.

So. Since Harmony insists on going over her due date, she's just gonna have to keep those babies in there until I can be home tomorrow afternoon. Because nobody WANTS to hate their mother-in-law. Especially not one as cool as Jacqui.